A Letter From Outbound Exchange Student Caitlin in Japan
received - July 2, 2009
Hey everyone!
It's been a while ^^ Time is winding down, so it's hard to keep up with all
the things I should say. Some things keep getting put off in favour for
others. But I've finally found the time/motivation to briefly update
everyone, which I should have done long ago.
First, the return date is finalized. I'll be leaving Japan on July 10, at
3:05pm, and arriving at Detroit airport on July 10, at 1:45pm (aka almost 2
hours before I left, lol).
Yesterday was my last day of school. I had to say goodbye to everyone, had
to personally let go. It'll be hard to return to Canada without them by my
side, always somewhere in the school ready to talk and laugh and smile and
do sports. But it's not something that can be helped. I'll keep in touch,
so even if my Japanese high school days are over, my relationships and
experiences are not. Besides, as the end comes closer, I get more excited.
Another exchange student told me "It's because I keep thinking about all
the things I'll do once I get home" And it's true--if I think about
swimming in my pool or seeing my pets; if I think about meeting my friends
and family, then it's not so hard to leave, whereas if I think about the
ones I'll leave behind, its unbearable. It's all a matter of perspective ^^
I've changed a lot, inside, but I don't know how noticeable it will be,
really. I've reorganized my priorities, given thought to what I really want
in life. Once, my idea of the future consisted of going to university to
get a steady paying job (that I might enjoy) and living in little Chatham
for the rest of my life, only traveling for vacation. Now... well, now the
future prospects are so wide, I don't know where to begin. Now I see the
world I hadn't before, and the places I want to see and people I want to
meet. Instead of a well-paying, steady job, I'd like to make more
relationships. I've also realized that at this age, I'm both young and old.
I'm old enough to travel on my own and make choices for my future but still
young enough to continue doing exchanges and studying and depending on
people. I'm an oxymoron ^^ (but so is everyone else!)
More than anything, what I want for the future is a guarantee to still be
in touch with the friends I've made. For that future, I've realized there's
a lot I'm willing to do. But at the same time, I'm not going to jump to
conclusions. As I told my host father (who insists I come study in Japan
for university... and then get a job... and only return to Canada for
vacation lol), "In any case, I have two years of high school to finish.
We'll see how I feel about everything then ^^." There's a lot of tugging
on the heart when you do something like exchange, and I think you have to
wait until you know where each pull is coming from before you make your
choices.
The happiest/best thing for me about Japan--the people. My host families,
who've done everything for me and made me a part of their family as real as
my own. My friends, who I still can't imagine life without. The people I
only met once who still talked to me and seemed to really enjoy it. From
these people, I gained a self-confidence I never knew I didn't have before.
They tell me they really like me and enjoy my company, which gives me the
confidence that I'm good enough as I am, and that I became the person I'd
always wanted to be. They give me the confidence to return to Canada and
make new friends, and become even closer to the wonderful friends I have
waiting for me (I'm sorry I never did as much with you as I could have T_T
I hope you'll still want to hang out *big hug*).
The saddest/hardest thing--(that Japan is 13 hours away from Canada -_-u)
The saddest times on my exchange were when I left my families, starting
with when I left Canada. It was hard to leave, and a year looked awfully
long at that time. When I left my first host family, and second, and third,
and fourth... it was very hard, but at the same time, I was happy. I would
miss them, but I would have a new family to meet and love. Yes, it was a
sad time, but nothing is black and white.
The most surprising thing--that I was able to make friends. I thought my
shyness (and perhaps the Japanese reserved character) would get in the way,
and that I would only have a few friends, but right from the start,
everyone was basically my friend. Throughout the year I learned more and
more about each of them (minus the boys... I wish I'd attempted to talk to
them more ><). I have an experience with everyone of them in my class, a
fond memory and deep friendship. The people from my club are some of the
best I've ever met, and it was hard to say goodbye to them last week. I
still can't believe how many friends I was able to make. Definitely most
surprising.
The language--I can speak fairly fluently in terms of common conversation.
I don't think in English and translate it, I just talk. If I don't know the
word, I find some odd way to express it >< I can't write the harder set of
Japanese characters very well--kanji--but I can read some. Unfortunately,
computers and dictionaries have that effect... I can hear it better than I
write, which is surprising in some ways. The problem is, when I go home and
am surrounded by English, I'll lose the ability to speak like I do. If I
study, I might gain proper Japanese, but it's not speaking >< (I need to
find Japanese people in Canada!)
What I wish I'd known before I came--...nothing, really. However there are
some things I wish I'd done while I had the chance, like aforementioned
talking to boys. I wish I'd spent more time with friends outside of school,
but at the same time, if I'd done that, I would have lost time with my
family. That's not something I could sacrifice. I guess what I wish is that
I'd made better use of my time. However, I think I did my best, and enjoyed
it to the fullest ^^
So there's the rundown on my exchange. Looking back, it really is the
people that I came to love the most. It's not the places I went that I
remember, but the things I did with my friends and family. It's not the
French that I studied, or the classes I attended, but days that a friend
randomly hugged me or when we all tried our best in the sports festival.
But I can already see how memories fade T_T The clear feelings I'd felt
then don't exist unless I have something to remind me (which, luckily, I
have lots of ^^) This, although saddening, is proof that I'll be able to
move on and say goodbye ^^ That I can get through hard times in the future
too.
...Now I've managed to rumble on for half an hour, and you're probably not
even that interested in it... -_-u But I guess if there's a way I've
change, it's that I can express my feelings and thoughts better now ^^
I think thats thanks to writing to all of you!
Thanks for always supporting me *big hug*
Yours in Japan for the next 9 days,
Caitlin ^^
A Letter From Outbound Exchange Student Caitlin in Japan
Subject- Japan: Week 13 (November 15 – November 21)
Konnichiwa Minna ^^
I’m currently... *counts the weeks* 6 weeks behind in weekly emails. It
feels really weird writing about things that are from such a different life
(at least, that’s what it’s like for me). You can think of my exchange so
far like you think of history: in eras. I’m in one era and writing about
another. I guess I should hurry up then, huh ^^ Mostly because I want to
get out of the past and into the present.
Well, we last left off with me making my family proud by getting along with
their friends (Friday, November 14). This trend continued.
Saturday began with pasta ^^ Well, not really began, but that was the first
noteworthy thing. For lunch, family and I went out to an Italian
restaurant. It was a good, if filling, lunch, consisting of Carborona pasta
and ceasar salad for me. I really love salad. After that, we came home for
a bit (just me and okasan; otousan had work), followed by another outing;
A pottery house.
It’s funny, in the not-laughable way. I have fond memories of when I used
to do pottery with my grandpa when I was younger. So many things seem to
correspond from one family to another (like former okasan’s birthday being
the same as my mom’s). Anyway, it was with these sort of thoughts that I
went to where my okasan does pottery.
It was with some of her friends, and they were very helpful ^^ With
everyone’s guiding, I made two bowls (which I haven’t seen since... lol).
Of course, I got that terrible dryness that makes me hate clay, but it was
worth it to enjoy such a bonding experience! But that wasn’t nearly as fun
as what came next.
After stopping at home briefly, me and okasan went to the next item on our
agenda; a dinner party with okasan’s ikebana club (ikebana-the art of
flower arranging). The dinner itself was very trying >< Lots and lots of
seafood of unimaginable tastes. Lol, or at least, too hard for me to
describe. Mostly, I just ate sashimi and almost-gyoza, but the company was
great! It was mostly women, and they all took the usual grandmotherly
interest in me. Oh, and they got my 6 GIANT glasses of various drinks ><
Which I drank all of. Oops.
After that!! After that!! We went to karaoke! Imagine that, my first
karaoke experience is with my okasan and her friends, who all like enka
(which I know nothing of). It was a lot of fun to see everyone so happy and
carefree, singing semi-depressing songs. But they also wanted me to sing,
which I kind of expected (and secretly looked forward to attempting, though
I was absolutely terrified). So I bravely made a fool of myself and tried!
My song was fairly slow and from an anime I knew, so I was mostly able to
keep up. The only thing is, the words aren’t in english characters. For the
most part, it was hiragana, so I was okay, but I couldn’t read the kanji.
In the end, it was a moment to treasure, no matter how bad I sang or how
many words I messed up ^^ It gave me confidence that I couldn’t have gained
otherwise. The kind that would later help me sing more karaoke, though not on that day.
The next day was another big one for me—a district conference in
Minami-Urawa. There were no big speeches in this one (thank goodness!) but
it was awesome. Because of this conference, I was temporarily very proud of
my Japanese. Of who I am and what I can do. Why? I have no idea ^^ Well, I
have a bit of an idea... anyway, at the end of the conference, during our
buffet dinner, the... Japanese-US army guys?...were there too. I think they
were with the American army but in Japan(basically, they were American).
We found something very interesting in common; when we see people who speak
English in Japan, there’s an almost insatiable urge to talk to them ^^ Of
course, what we talk about isn’t important, but we have an instant
connection that comes from being in a foreign country. Apart from talking
to them, I also talked to various Japanese gentlemen (and two schoolgirls).
I think that was why I was proud of my Japanese—I could hold my own and
carry a conversation. Mostly.
Regardless, it was another empowering kind of day.
Then Monday, which was school and therefore not important (just kidding).
Actually, it was yet another happening day, lol. On this day, the
France exchange students (who I’d come to enjoy spending kyudo time with)
were going home. So in our Japanese for Foreigners class, we made cards for
each other ^^ (bye bye confidence in Japanese, lol). I knew I would miss
them, but all good things come to an end.
In Oral Communications, I got to argue with people ^^ The teacher may call
it “debate” but I just love arguing things sometimes. It doesn’t matter
what side I’m on—I can argue myself if need be >< (seriously: I see things
from so many different sides that I can probably carry on a decent debate
with myself until my head explodes ><). It was fun, because it didn’t
matter and we were just enjoying ourselves (the topic: Should there be
school on Saturdays? We all had to debate both sides).
Writing and lunch were normal (though after the conference, I did indeed
feel better speaking in broken Japanese). But after that, for LHR, we all
watched a movie about Hiroshima and the atomic bomb. That was quite an
experience for me. I’ve watched and seen a lot about the bomb in my life,
both inside and outside of school, but even if I was watching the exact
same thing in Japan, the way it hit me was entirely different. And that’s
without understanding the language. It was a very good cultural experience,
and an even better life experience.
Home was also noteworthy—we had another meeting at our house ^^ People
really like me and my smile (which is also funny—when I was little, I hated
it). But this time, I had to work on my Cross Cultural Understandings
project, which was due in two days. I was done the speech but not the
visual aids. Still, I happily joked and talked with people while doing my
work. It actually made it a lot more fun. At the point, I’d realized that
I’d fully adapted to my new family, to the point where I no longer thought
about writing otousanand okasan in my journal. They sent me to bed that
night, and that’s proof enough that we’re family, lol.
On Tuesday, I finished my CCU project (with okasan and otousan watching and
occasionally helping. Mostly, I think they were just keeping me company
^^). That’s actually all I know about that day... I told you my journal was
empty for a while. Oh, and in kyudo, I went back to doing makiwara
(practice—not long-distance shooting) because there was a weird wall up in the
dojo (to block out the wind because it was getting colder, though no
one realized it at the time. It looked hopefully something like this:
____________
|O O O O O O|
We all thought it was some form of extra practice, so I went back to doing
makiwara with the 2nd and 3rd years. Truthfully, I thought it was to keep
the cold out in the first place, so I wondered if I would be doing makiwara
for the whole winter season, but I said nothing, figuring it would work
itself out, or I’d deal with it.
Wednesday... ahh, yes, my CCU presentation. A nerve-wracking thing that
was, but I’ve had a lot of preparation doing French presentations back
home, so it went fine. Why is this important? Because in both cases, my
audience only understands part of what I’m saying, lol. In this case, I had
to make sure to speak slowly and clearly, making great use of my wonderful
visual aids ^^ I worked hard, and it all went fine. The comments the
students left me made it all worth it.
Other than that, there was more kyudo. Except that it was absolutely
freezing >< Even I wanted to get in out of the cold. But I used this
experience to my advantage: for every kyudo day to come, I would wear a
sweater underneath my sports jacket. Never again was I so cold ^^ Oh, and I
ate lunch that day with Maxie and Hyeonji instead of with my homeroom class
(though I had warned Haru-chan—it’s not like I would ever abandon them).
Thursday! Oh, Thursday was a whole heap of new experiences for me. At
least, in gym. The week before, we’d done simple things like handstands and
summersaults, but I didn’t realise it would lead to doing full-blown
gymnastics! I mean, I had never even seen the equipment in person before!
Oh, it was so cool!
Since my gym class consists of 4 classes, there were also four different
sections.
1. Practice—the summersaults and headstands we’d done before, all leading
up to the final test. 2. tetsubou—in english, it roughly translates to
“iron rod” or “horizontal bar”. I have no clue how to describe it, but it’s
all about arm strength. And no matter how hard I tried, I simply couldn’t
do it. There are two parts to what we were supposed to do—swing yourself
under and on, then fall forward and make a full circle (hard to explain
T_T). I couldn’t even get myself on in the first place, lol. But I wasn’t
alone!
3. Trampoline jump—haha! I could do this one!! Quite well, too ^^ It’s
basically running forward, jumping onto a small trampoline and bouncing up
into the air, curling into a ball while your up there before landing on
your feet. I loved trying to jump as high as possible!
4. umm.. Springboard? It was a case of run, jump, and leapfrog over a long
block thing. Also hard to explain. I should look up pictures for you all
(but this computer doesn’t have internet). Another one I just couldn’t do.
I would jump but instead of leapfrogging the block, I just sorta ended up
standing on it by instinct.
Yes, I absolutely loved doing gymnastics, even if I couldn’t do half the
things ^^
Which leads to Friday’s gym class. The practice and trampoline were the
same. I still didn’t get anywhere on the tetsubou, but the springboard!!
*does a victory dance* that’s right, I did it. Only twice, and nearer the
end, but it was still an accomplishment! Obviously, I had a lot of work to
do even there, but I was happy. That’s all for Friday ^^
And so that was week 13. Quite a fun week for me, that’s for sure!
Unfortunately, it’s this kind of week that takes me two hours to write
about ><. Still, I’ll diligently try and get the next weekly email out
before long! Have faith!
Without further ado, goodbye ^^
I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas!!
Caitlin
:::Preview of Next Week’s Email:::
(Seeing as this is still fun to do) In Week 14, I:
*felt my second earthquake!
*saw Mickey Mouse
*had a gymnastics-accomplishment
*got a multitude of bruises
::: Top Ten Foods (subject to change often) :::
(because I’ve given up trying to choose a wonderful moment over another ^^)
10. Japanese (?) potato salad (it has mayonaise ^^)
9. Carborona pasta (Italian)
8. Sushi (Japanese) (but only in moderation)
7. Tonkatsu (I think it’s Japanese)
6. Miso soup (Japanese)
5. Ramen (Chinese)
4. Ceaser Salad (Italian?)
3. Saito-okasan’s Christmas chicken lol
2. Gyoza (also Chinese)
1. Oonuki-okasani’s chicken – I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s my
favourite food ever T_T
7-02-09