Rotary Sunrise
Meeting as conducted by our
own Jim Nash!
Good
morning everyone. Thanks for
coming out to Rotary this
wonderful sunny morning.
It’s great to be a Rotarian
and to be with so many other
wonderful Rotarians on such
a wonderful day here at
Smitty’s, such a wonderful
restaurant. God, things are
wonderful!
Before
we get started, let’s
introduce our wonderful
guests. Would you please
introduce the wonderful
guest seated to your right?
Let’s start with Mark –
thanks Mark that’s wonderful
but that was actually Matt
that you introduced and he
was seated on your left –
OK, well on your other
right. I think you meant to
introduce the wonderful
gentleman on your other
right side – Andrew Thiel –
one of our wonderful friends
of Rotary. And at the next
table, John is there any
wonderful guest at your
table?
PAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, thanks John for that
wonderful introduction but
Greg Davenport IS
a member of the club – I
guess it has just been a
little while since Greg has
been out to a meeting.
Uhhhhhhhh, really wonderful
to see you here again Greg!
Continuing with our
tradition of repeating jokes
passed along by other
members, I offer the
following:
The Mailbox
A man
is mowing his front lawn
when his attractive blonde
neighbour comes out of her
front door, opens the
mailbox, peeks inside,
closes it and then goes back
into her house slamming the
door. This happens four
times while he is cutting
the grass and each time she
is getting more animated. He
couldn’t take it any longer
and as she once again came
out, looked in the mailbox,
found it empty and was about
to go back in the house, he
asked her “Is something
wrong”. To that she replied,
“There certainly is. All
morning my stupid computer
has been telling me that I
have mail”.
Please
join me in the Rotary grace.
PAUSE. Sorry I
guess Angie was in a bit of
a hurry this morning and we
couldn’t be heard above the
din of the dishes being
cleared from the tables. Uh,
really nice to have you with
us too on this wonderful
morning Angie!!!!!
OK –
time for our 50/50 draw. So
Doug, what is the pot worth
this week – seeing as you
have won it the last 7 weeks
in a row? Eleven-fifty! Hey
who put in the fifty cents?
Gheez XXXXXXX there
is nobody that wants to
share a ticket!!!! Thanks
for the wonderful donation
though.
Seeing
as our guest speaker is not
yet here, looks as if I have
time for a couple more
jokes:
The New Watch
A very
handsome and even more
confident young man walks
into a bar and sits beside
an attractive young woman.
He glances at her for a few
seconds and then casually
looks down at his watch. She
notices him staring at the
watch and asks if his date
is running late. He replies
no and that he had just
bought this state-of-the-art
watch and he was testing it.
She asks what’s so special
about the watch and he
replies that it talks to him
through telepathic waves to
which she replies so what is
it telling you now. He
replies that it is telling
me you are not wearing any
underwear. She giggles and
responds with well it must
be broken then because I AM
wearing underwear! He then
taps on the face of the
watch and says ”Damn thing
must be running an hour
fast”.
I knew
you guys would like that. It
was sent to me by one of our
newer members Greg Kett –
Greg sends me a lot of good
jokes – too bad that most of
them can’t be repeated here.
He did send me one more that
I think you will enjoy.
This one is about
Friendships
Friendship Between
Women
A woman
did not come home one night.
The next day she told her
husband that she had slept
over at a friend’s house.
The husband phoned her 10
best friends and none of
them knew anything about
it.
Friendship Between Men
A man
did not come home one night.
The next day he told his
wife that he had slept over
at a friend’s house. The
wife phoned his 10 best
friends and eight of them
confirmed he had slept over.
Two of them claimed he was
still there.
Say,
who arranged for our Guest
Speaker today? Oh, I think I
heard it was XXXXXX!
That might explain things a
bit. Oh well, it is still a
wonderful day – a wonderful
day to be a Sunrise
Rotarian, to have a
wonderful breakfast here at
wonderful Smitty’s with the
wonderful server Angie and
to be with all of you
wonderful fellow Rotarians.
God, it’s great just to be
here with you wonderful
people!
Well in
light of no guest speaker, I
think we will just continue
on with our regular program
and finish the meeting with
the singing of O Canada!
Perhaps in-coming President
Blake can actually sing the
words this morning rather
than lip-sync. What’s that
Sheila – he hasn’t learned
the words yet – Oh, OK then
I will write them out for
him before I pass along the
gavel! You know me, always
eager to help another
Rotarian!
************************************************************************
Seriously Jim – you were a
great President and are a
great Past President. This
club continues to move
forward on many great
projects due in no small
part to you and I am sure
many of those who have
preceded you. It is a very
good club – yes even a
wonderful club and thanks to
you especially for your
dedication to it and to
Rotary. I am really pleased
to be a part of this
organization!
Greg Kett
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